


Hello, Welcome Home

by RavenWriter96 (orphan_account)



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clay and Justin are brothers, Drug Withdrawal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Justlex, Gen, Justin-centric, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Season/Series 02, Zalex and Clustin Bromance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-13 18:49:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14754312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/RavenWriter96
Summary: “It took two days for Justin to crack under the pressure of the crushing guilt. Two days filled with bickering with Clay, helping Mrs Jensen cook, movie nights and comforting hugs.”The Aftermath of Season 2, Justin-Centric.





	1. Thought I found a way out

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey! This is my first fic in this fandom, so please be gentle?  
> This fic will deal with some of the loose ends in season two, like the adoption, Seth, Justin's mother, his addiction. I hope I dealt with it in a realistic manner, and if not, please do not hesitate and tell me( but in a nice way, lol).  
> One thing I did change (though not completely) from season 2 is this: I loved Jess this season, and though i don't ship her with Alex, I was okay with it. But at the end? I hated that she kissed Justin, because a) I hate cheating, and b) I think it's unrealistic. (This is expanded on in the fic)  
> I hope you Enjoy!
> 
> PS: Title of the fic and chapter is from Lovely By Billie Eilish & Khalid

 

Justin, for the majority of the past few weeks, hadn’t thought having Jess back was a possibility, not after everything. He’d wanted it, yes, but he never expected it to happen. Yet, here she was, in his lap, kissing him, one hand in his hair, the other loosening his tie. And It should have felt like everything he wanted, but it didn't. It felt good, _she_ felt good, but it also felt wrong to be doing this.

“Jess,” Justin said quietly, as he gently put his hands on top of hers, stilling her fingers. “Jess, Stop.”

Jessica immediately stopped, pulling back to look at his face, her brows furrowed. “What?”

“Jess, we can’t do this.” She looked shocked for a few seconds, and he couldn’t blame her. _He_ was shocked he’d stopped her. He took a deep breath, and gently covered her body with the dress, tying the belt sloppily, all the while avoiding her eyes. When he did gather the courage to look up, Jessica looked angry and confused. And Justin hated himself, because she’d been happy earlier, with Alex. He should’ve let his feelings for her go, but instead of doing the right thing, he’d selfishly acted on his feelings, had managed to mess things up for her.

“Why?” Despite the anger in her eyes, her voice was steady, and firm, and she was still sitting in his lap. It wasn’t exactly the best position for them to be having this conversation, but he decided to let her lead. He must’ve taken too long to answer, because hurt replaced the anger in her eyes, and she scoffed. "Is it because I’m damaged goods now? You don’t want Bryce’s –“

“Stop. Stop right there. That is not why I don’t want to do this, Jess, and you know it.”

She got up, putting some distance between them, and turned her back to him. “What happened, what I did to you, what I let him do to you? Jess, that will always hang over our heads. I’ll always be a reminder of what happened. And you’ll always think, in the back of your mind, that I could’ve, should’ve, stopped it. And you’d be right.”

“Justin-“Her voice, her expression, softened, but he didn’t let that stop him.

“You know that it’s true, Jess. Deep down, you know that. I know you’ve forgiven me, I know, and I love you for it. I’m so grateful to you, because you’re one of the few people in my life who have given me a chance. But we can’t be together, that’s a line we shouldn’t cross.”

Jessica stared at him, not angry, but not exactly happy either. “if you really believe that, then why string me along? The looks across the room, leaving when you saw me with Alex…”she trailed off as a look of horror crossed her face. ”Oh god, Alex. What did I do?”

“Jess, you weren’t thinking. Neither of us were. He won’t hold it against you. If you want, you could tell him it was all me, I don’t mind.” He did mind, actually, because Alex was one of the few people who seemed to give a damn about him, but if it made things easier for Jess? He’d gladly let Alex hate him if it meant Jess would be happy.

She shook her head gently and smiled, though it was small and sad. “I don’t want to lie to him.”  The huge amount of relief he felt when she said this was surprising, and obvious too, because Jess seemed to see it. Her smile widened and became a bit softer. “I think you’re right, though. We shouldn't do this.

He sighed in relief. Up until this moment, he hadn’t been sure he _was_ right. He loved her, he knew that much, but right now, being her friend felt more appealing than anything else. And there was the matter of Alex, too. The guy had already been through a lot, and the thought of adding to that turned Justin’s stomach, and from the look on Jess’ face, she felt the same way. It had hurt, seeing her with someone else, and he was sure it always will, but if it meant she was happy, that they were both happy, then Justin would learn to accept it, eventually.

“I’m gonna go fix this mess,” she gestured at her rumpled dress. ”And then I’ll find Alex,” she continued after a short, awkward silence. Justin panicked, because the words felt final, and he didn’t want to lose her, not again.

“Jess, please tell me I didn’t lose you.” He cursed internally, because he hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He’d wanted to be selfless, let her decide if she wanted him to be in her life after everything. But he was selfish, and a coward, and he didn’t want to lose her.

“Oh, Justin,” she said as she slowly walked towards him. Seconds later, she was hugging him, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “You’re not gonna lose me, okay? I’m here, I’m always going to be here, I promise.”

“Thank you,” he whispered into her shoulder, tightening his arms around her. She did the same, and he relished in the comfort her arms provided. He pulled away and smiled at her. “Go find Alex,” the words hurt to say, but not as much as he expected them to, and it made him feel a bit of peace, knowing that he did the right thing, not just for Jessica, but for himself too.

* * *

Seeing Clay with a gun pointed at him was easily one of the worst, and most frightening, things Justin had ever witnessed. And leaving him there, to save himself, was easily one of the worst things he had done. It felt like he was doing to Clay what he had done to Jess that night. The thought brought him to a halt, his abrupt stop causing Jessica to bump into his back. He let go of her hand, which he’d been holding tightly in his own, and moved around her, heading back the way they came from. “I have to go back. I can’t leave him, not like-“ _not like I left you_ ’ he thought, but didn’t say it out loud. Just thinking it felt like a betrayal. Jessica took his hand, squeezed it and dragged him toward the doors. “No, Jess, you have to leave.”

“Like hell I will.”

“Jess, Please, don’t do this.”

“Clay is my friend, too, Justin. You’re not going out there alone. Alex or Zach will have already called the police. Everything will be okay.”

He believed it, for a second, he believed it, until he was standing beside Clay, who was holding a gun and refusing to let it go, looking like he might throw up or pass out, and the police sirens were sounding closer by the second.

* * *

“Walk me through it again, Mr. Foley.”

Justin pulled a face at the deputy. He’d already “walked him through it” two times. Justin was tired and hungry and, if he was being honest, scared. Scared for Clay and what might happen if they didn’t believe him and Justin. Justin hoped to god they would, because honestly? Clay didn’t need any more trouble in his life and he was just starting to heal from damage that Hannah’s death had caused.

“I told you already, Tyler had a gun pointed at Clay’s throat by the time Jessica and I found him. He told us to go inside, and we did. But we couldn’t just leave him there, so we went back outside. Clay was alone, and holding Tyler’s gun. By that time, we could hear the sirens and then the police were there. That’s it. Now can I please see my friends?”

The deputy seemed to soften a little, and gave him a sympathetic smile. “You’re free to go, but I don’t think you’ll be able to see your friends yet. Go home, kid.”

“Not so sure I have one.” He hadn’t meant to say the words, but nevertheless, they were probably true. The Jensens may have wanted to adopt him, but that was before this disaster, and honestly? After they find out about his relapse, because they eventually will, they won’t want him, and he’ll end up back on the streets, homeless and alone. The thought sent a jolt of panic through him and suddenly, he felt like everything came crashing down on him. He felt a crushing weight pressing down on his chest, and he struggled to take in a breath. He tried, he really did, but it seemed to make the pain in his chest go from bad to worse. Then there were hands on him, pushing his chair back and the panic intensified. Everything fell away and then Seth was there, holding him up against the wall, his hands around Justin’s throat, the smell of alcohol on his breath revolting.

He didn’t know how long it took, but eventually smaller, gentler hands replaced the rough ones on his shoulders. Breathing wasn’t easier, but he could hear someone calling his name.

“Justin, honey, open your eyes. Breathe. Come on.” The voice was familiar, but he couldn’t focus enough to place it. “Open your eyes, Justin.”

He did, slowly, his breath hitching when he saw [Mrs](http://13reasonswhy.wikia.com/wiki/Lainie_Jensen) Jensen’s face, instead of Seth’s. “You’re doing good, Justin. Just breathe, in and out. You can do it.” It took a while, but breathing became a little easier and he could focus more. He noticed Mrs Jensen was crouched in front of him, and Mr Jensen was arguing with the deputy.

“What happened, Honey?” She asked gently, her hands not leaving his face. The gentleness caused his eyes to burn with tears. He didn’t want to lose them. “Justin, stay with me. Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know,” His words came out shaky and pathetic, and even though he should be embarrassed about it, he wasn’t. He was too preoccupied with hating himself to feel anything else.

“Okay. You don’t have to talk about it now, okay? Let’s just go home, now, so you and Clay can put this behind you.”

“I’m sorry. I screwed up. I didn’t mean to, I know I shouldn’t have done it. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He kept apologizing and when she put her arms around him, he let the tears fall, and he struggled to remain present, because this might be the last time he would ever feel this safe.

“What are you talking about, Justin?”

He pulled away from her and raised shaky hands to wipe the tears away. He didn’t know what to do because the way he saw it, he had two options. Lie, make up some bullshit answer, and go home with the Jensens, have a family for a few months if he was lucky, and eventually lose it all when they found out he was using again -when, not if, because these were real parents, who _cared_ and _noticed_ and _looked after_ their children. Or tell the truth now, and save himself from the heartbreak of losing them after getting a real taste of what a family is like.

He shook his head, and smiled ruefully. “Nothing.”

Option one, it is.

* * *

When he left the room, Mrs Jensen’s hand wrapped around his arm, the first thing he noticed was Jessica. Her parents were hugging her, her dad seemed to be talking to her quietly. She noticed him a few seconds later and she broke away from her family.

“Justin!” Seconds later, she was in his arms, holding him tightly. Mrs Jensen let go of his arm and stepped away, giving him a smile. “Are you okay?”

“I am. Are you?” He pulled back from her, holding her at arm’s length.

“Yeah. That was scary, but at least Clay stopped him.” Her smile was a little frayed around the edges, and there was an awkwardness to their interaction that had never been there before. He pushed all that away, and turned to Mrs Jensen.

“Where’s Clay?”

Her face twisted in a grimace. “He’s in the bathroom. Matt is with him.”

“Is he okay?”

She hesitated, her eyes darting to Jessica, who seemed to notice. “I’m gonna go home now. Take care of yourself, Justin. Bye Mrs Jensen.” She kissed his cheek, smiled at him and Mrs Jensen and went to her parents.

Justin turned to Mrs Jensen. “How is he?”

She let out a breath and sat on one of the chairs. “He’s a mess, Justin. And he won’t talk to anyone. He refused to tell the sheriff about Tyler, you know that?”

“What?!”

“He won’t talk,” her breath hitched, and she seemed to be on the verge of tears. Justin moved to sit beside her and after a minute of hesitation, he put one arm around her. Her hand reached up and squeezed his, and didn’t let go.

“Let me talk to him? Maybe I can get him to talk.”

She straightened, looking hopeful. “You think you can?”

“I can try.”

“Okay, yeah.”

* * *

Clay was still in the bathroom when Justin went looking for him. Mr Jensen was outside, his back to the wall, his eyes on the ceiling. He looked as tired as Justin felt.

“Hey, Mr Jensen.”

The man startled. “Hi, kid. How are you?”

“I’m alright. Is Clay in there?”

“Yeah. Clay and a deputy who’s apparently assigned to him. They’re treating him like a criminal, and we can’t do anything about it, because the kid won’t talk!”

Justin wasn’t sure what to do to help. With Mrs Jensen, it was easy. Knowing how to comfort her had been instinctual, because he was used to doing it with his mother. But with Mr Jensen? He had no clue. The man moved closer to him, and his hand came up. Justin flinched, despite knowing Mr Jensen wouldn’t hit him.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Justin,” he said quietly, lowering his hand slowly. He looked sad, and Justin hated it. He didn’t want anyone’s pity. He moved around the man and into the bathroom without saying a word. Once he was inside, he took a deep breath, and willed himself to focus on Clay.

He found a deputy standing in front of one of the stalls, hands on his hips and he didn’t pay him any attention. He beelined for the stall Clay was in, and knocked, ignoring the deputy when he told him the stall was occupied.

“Jensen, you in there?” No answer. “Clay, come on, man. Come out.” Nothing. Justin closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the door. “I know it hurts, I know what you’re going through. But, Clay, you can’t protect him from this. And you shouldn’t. He would’ve killed people, Clay. What if he tries to do it again, huh? He needs help. Please, just tell the sheriff what happened.” Again, nothing. Justin cursed internally, feeling helpless. He had no idea what else to do, what else to say. Just as he started moving away from the door, he heard a rustle, then the door opened. Clay looked like hell; his eyes were red and haunted, his shoulders were slumped and he seemed resigned.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Okay, I’ll talk.”

Justin sighed in relief, and pulled him into a one-armed hug. He steered him out of the bathroom, keeping an arm around him. Clay was looking down, so it was up to Justin to lead him to the interrogation room. Mr and Mrs Jensen were waiting outside the door, and when they saw him and Clay, they both smiled.

“Let’s go inside, honey,” Mrs Jensen told Clay, smiling gratefully at Justin. Justin watched them go in with a heavy heart.

“Thank you.”

Justin turned his head in Mr Jensen’s direction, surprised. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, Justin. Thank you for being there for him when he didn’t let us be,” the older man said, and Justin was at a loss for words. ’You’re welcome’ didn’t seem right.

“He’s a good guy, and he was there for me, too.”

Mr Jensen smiled. “Good. Let’s sit down, it’ll probably be a while before we can leave.”

They sat beside each other in silence. Justin rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Justin turned his head to the side, looking at the older man who seemed genuinely remorseful.  Justin resisted the urge to laugh. The man was apologizing for scaring him with what was probably intended as a comforting gesture, while his mom’s boyfriends, who beat him more times than he could count, and his mom, who allowed it to happen, probably never even contemplated it.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Mr Jensen. That was all me.”

Mr Jensen was shaking his head before Justin finished talking. “I should’ve known better than to-“

“I knew you wouldn’t hurt me,” Justin interrupted him, fiddling with the sleeve of his dress shirt. “I knew it, it was just a reflex.”

That was the wrong thing to say, apparently, because the man looked stricken. “I know you’ll never hurt me, Mr Jensen,” he repeated quietly, his eyes downcast.

 “Good. That’s good, kid.” When Justin looked up from his hands, the man was smiling kindly at him.

The door to the interrogation room opened and Clay, Mrs Jensen and the sheriff stepped out. The sheriff put a hand on Clay’s shoulder and said something that Justin couldn’t hear, then he walked off.

Clay looked drained, physically and emotionally. Justin wished there was anything he could do for him, to make it easier.

“Let’s go home,” Mrs Jensen said quietly, looking at them all, though her gaze lingered on Justin longer, as if to assure him that he was included in that sentence, that their home was his too. Hope bloomed in his chest at the thought of actually having a home, and a family, for once in his life.

Then he remembered the Heroin he was hiding in his gym bag, and that hope was gone.

* * *

It took two days for Justin to crack under the pressure of the crushing guilt. Two days filled with bickering with Clay, helping Mrs Jensen cook, movie nights and comforting hugs.

Mrs Jensen had brought up the adoption before, vaguely, but on the third day, she called for a family meeting, and sat them down. She and Mr Jensen held hands, and then she said the words that simultaneously fill him with happiness and dread.

“The adoption will be finalized tomorrow! We just have to sign the papers."

They seemed happy about it, even Clay, and Justin wished more than anything that he could be, too, but he can't. They opened their home for him, made sure to make him feel included, and he'd repaid them by doing drugs and lying to them.

 He shook his head, and realized that he'd never hated himself more than he did in this moment.

“Justin?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, chocking on the words. “I’m so sorry.”

“Justin, what-“ he cut Clay off.

“You don’t want to adopt me. You _shouldn’t_.” Without another word, he ran up the stairs, grabbed his gym bag and came back down. The three of them were standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at him with the three identical expressions of confusion.

He hurried down the stairs and shoved past Clay, headed for the door. Clay didn’t let him go far, though. He grabbed his arm in tight, yet somehow still gentle, grip. “Justin, what are you doing? I thought you wanted this?” 

Justin tried to pry his arm out of the other boy’s grip, but Clay was relentless. “I do. You won’t want to , though.”

Clay looked even more confused than he had before.

Mrs Jensen took a step closer to them. “What are you even talking about? Of course we want you to be-“

He didn’t let her finish. He yanked his arm out of Clay’s hold, opened his bag and pulled out the grey shirt he’d been hiding the Heroin and needles in. He shoved it in the other boy’s hands.

"Do you still want me now?"

He looked each of them in the eye and felt tears threatening to fall when he saw the expressions on their faces. Shock, heartbreak and sadness. No anger, no disgust and no hatred. Justin wished there had been, maybe this would’ve been easier. Not for the first time, he wished he’d been strong enough to stay clean. He hadn’t been, though and his weakness had hurt three people who looked at him and saw someone worth saving, three people who gave a damn.

Justin had proven Seth right.

He really was no good for anybody.

 

 

 


	2. Be still, and know that I'm with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and Kudos, you guys blew me away!  
> Read on and (Hopefully) Enjoy!
> 
> I couldn't edit this chapter as much as i would've liked, so I'm kind of nervous about it. I'll go back and edit it in a few days, but If there's any mistakes, please, let me know (nicely) so I can fix them!
> 
> PS:Chapter title comes from Be Still By The fray!

" _Do you still want me now?"_

 

"Of course we do, kiddo.”

Justin’s gaze drifted to Mr Jensen’s face, and he stared at him incredulously. “No, you don’t,” he scoffed.

The older man glared, though it seemed kind, somehow. “Yes, we do. Isn’t that right, Lainie? Clay?”

“Yes, it is,” Mrs Jensen said, a soft smile, and no trace of judgement, on her face. It made him ache, and it made him hope, which was a dangerous thing for Justin since hoping never got him anywhere.

“It’s not,” he told her weakly, willing himself to believe it; to at least soften the blow of them kicking him out. It didn’t matter what they said now, there was no way they were going to watch him go through withdrawal, begging for the next hit and puking his guts out, without sending him packing. A traitorous voice in the back of his mind told him that they were different, that they would stick by him, and he tried in vain to push it back. A noise behind him caught his attention, and he turned his head just in time to see Clay wiping a tear away. Justin opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no words would come out. He watched helplessly as Clay walked past him and took the stairs two at a time, disappearing from view in what felt like mere seconds.

“It’s not,” he repeated, this time with more conviction. It was obvious that Clay didn’t want him there, and there was no way they would keep him here if it made their son uncomfortable. “He doesn’t want me here, and neither should you.”

Mr and Mrs Jensen exchanged a look, and then Mrs Jensen sighed, her shoulders slumping in what Justin assumed was defeat. His stomach dropped, fear and disappointment consuming him. In that moment, he realised that he’d been foolish in thinking that he was prepared to leave, prepared for the moment they would ask him to leave this family that in a couple of weeks became more of a home to him than his own mother ever was.

“Justin-“

“I get it, he’s your son,” he told her with a smile that was pathetic at best. “I’m gonna go now,” he told them, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. As he bent down to get his bag from where it had fallen on the ground, he fantasised about them protesting, telling him to stay. He laughed bitterly. _‘Could you_ be _any more pathetic?”_

“Justin, would you stop?! Kid, you have nowhere to go,” Mr Jensen said, his hands raised in a placating manner. “You’re upset right now, so why don’t you get some rest and we’ll talk about this whole thing tomorrow, okay?”

“No,” Justin said decisively. He didn’t think he would be able to survive spending the night in the house, knowing it would be his last.

“No?” Mr Jensen looked angry now, and when he took a step forward, Justin involuntarily took one back. oddly, the colour seemed to drain from his face, taking the anger with it. “Kid-“

Mrs Jensen cleared her throat. “Matt, give us a minute.”

Mr Jensen looked like he wanted to protest, but then they locked eyes and seemed to have a whole conversation without using any words. He nodded at her, and with a final, unreadable look in Justin’s direction, he left the room. She looked at Justin and nodded her head toward the kitchen. “You and I are going to sit down, and we are going to talk, do you hear me?”

Justin was too tired to do much more than nod. When they got to the kitchen, Mrs Jensen leading the way, Justin was a nervous mess. He sat down opposite her, and was surprised when she changed chairs, sitting on one that was closer to him.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, Mrs Jensen watching him with a calculating look. It made him nervous. “When we offered to adopt you, did you think we didn’t know exactly what we were dealing with? We may not have known about you using again, and I’m sorry that we didn’t notice, but we did know that you didn’t have the easiest life. We knew that would have lasting effects on you and in turn, on our family, and we accepted it. You know why?”

He shook his head, and a tear made its way down his cheek. “No, I don’t.”

“It’s because you deserve it. You deserve to have a home, a family, and stability. You deserve to feel safe, to have your own bed and your own space.”

With every word she said, breathing became just a little bit harder, and by the time she was finished, Justin felt lightheaded. He wanted to believe her more than anything, but he wasn’t sure if he should. Did he deserve all those things? After everything he had done, everything he had yet to atone for, did he deserve anything more than what life had given him before Clay found him and brought him back?

“I don’t. I did horrible things, to so many people,” he sobbed. Her eyes were impossibly kind, and he shook his head. “I don’t deserve you. You should just let me leave and forget about me. Please,” he pleaded brokenly, avoiding her eyes.

“That’s not going to happen, Justin.” Her words were gentle and firm, leaving no room for argument. Justin shook his head. “What? Did you not- How can you still want me?”

Mrs Jensen took his hand in hers and squeezed tightly. “You are staying right here with us. You and Clay will see a therapist and you will go to meetings and whatever else your therapist recommends. You are getting the help you need, and you are going to be okay. You’re a part of this family now, sweetheart, and you’re not going anywhere.” He was stunned. He wasn’t sure if this was really happening, or a dream, and he resisted the temptation to pinch himself to find out.

“Are you sure? Mrs Jens-“

“Lainie,” she interrupted him. “No more Mr and Mrs Jensen, kid,” she told him firmly.

Justin allowed himself to hope, and he smiled at one of the two people who were giving him a home and a family and a second chance. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

*****************************

Clay managed to avoid him for the rest of the day, despite them living in the same house. He knew the other boy was pissed at him, and he had a right to be, but the idea that Justin had ruined their friendship was a hard pill to swallow.

By night-time, Clay was the least of his worries. The cravings, the intense kind, started at about 11 P.M and Justin felt desperate. He was alone, sitting on the couch in front of the TV, and his hands were shaking so badly he couldn’t hold the remote still. Justin squeezed his eyes shut and reminded himself that it was worth it. Pain in exchange for having this second chance, is more than worth it. He prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that he could remember that in the next few days.

It took two hours for the nausea to set in, and Justin barely managed to get to the bathroom before the contents of his stomach spilled out. Almost nothing came out, since he hadn’t had dinner, and pretty soon, he was dry heaving, and it felt like his stomach was trying to crawl its way out of his body.

 When he was done, he dragged himself up and dragged himself to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water. He drank slowly as he checked the fridge and cupboards for something light to eat. He found a small box of Ritz and grabbed it. He moved back to the couch, set the water and crackers on the floor, and took off his sweater, suddenly feeling hot. He tried to distract himself with watching a movie and eating the crackers, and it worked for a little while, until his stomach rolled and he had to rush to the bathroom again. He hated it, all of  it, but he mostly hated that he was alone. Last time, he’d had Clay, Sheri and Tony there, and though they needed to work on their bedside manner, having them near had helped keep hm grounded. Being alone with only his thoughts to keep him company was a dangerous thing, at the moment. Once he was sure he wasn’t going to throw up again, he moved to get up, but then thought better of it, instead moving back to lean against the wall. The cool tile was a relief, and he seriously considered taking off his shirt, but decided against it when he remembered he might be here until the morning, and someone might walk in. He needed to salvage whatever dignity he had left.

Stomach cramps joined the nausea and Justin could do nothing but wait it out, curled up on the floor of the bathroom. He remembered the first time he’d watched his mother go through this, eleven years old and scared out of his mind that his mom was dying. He’d resented her then, and he wondered if the Jensens, with time, would start to hate him, too. Clay already seemed to. The thought scared him more than he was willing to admit. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to regulate his breathing. A panic attack on top of everything else was the last thing he needed right now. Thankfully, it seemed to be a false alarm, and his breathing was back to normal by the time he’d managed to drag himself up. He hugged his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on them.

“Justin? Kiddo, are you alright?!” Justin looked up in surprise, and saw Mr Jensen in the bathroom doorway. He shook his head wordlessly and waited for the man to leave, maybe call Mrs Jensen down to deal with Justin. Instead, the man tentatively made his way in, and crouched when there was less than a foot of space between them. “Can I touch you? Just on your forehead.” Justin nodded, too tired to say much of anything. He felt large, cool hands on his forehead, then his cheek, and the cool touch was such a relief that Justin unconsciously leaned into it. Instead of pushing him away, or pulling away, Mr Jensen just stroked his cheek gently. “Let’s get you in bed, huh? You need to get some rest.”

Justin shook his head. “Need to stay here.” Though the words were mumbled, Mr Jensen seemed to hear them. He sighed quietly and sat down next to Justin. “You don’t have to stay,” Justin said quietly, his voice hoarse.

The older man waved him off. “Of course I do, I’m not gonna leave you down here alone, kid.”

Justin shrugged, trying to act as if those words didn’t meant the world to him. He said nothing, just closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall.

He must’ve dozed off at some point, because he woke up to voices speaking close to him. “Honey, what happened?” The hushed voice belonged to Mrs Jensen, and Justin wasn’t sure she was talking to him, so he kept his eyes closed and hoped she thought he was still asleep and left him alone.

“I found him on the floor about two hours ago, and he didn’t want to go up to bed,” Mr Jensen whispered. And Justin remembered that the man had been with him before he’d fallen asleep.

“So, you’ve been like this for two hours? How’s your back, old man?” Mrs Jensen teased her husband, a smile evident in her voice. It made Justin happy, knowing that their relationship hadn’t suffered because of him

“You weren’t complaining about me being an old man last night,” Mr Jensen said without missing a beat, and Justin hoped his face didn’t twist in a grimace. He really didn’t want to hear about their sex life.

“Matt!” Mrs Jensen hissed, though she broke into laughter seconds later.

“Shh, you’ll wake him up,” Mr Jensen said with a chuckle.

To Justin’s surprise, the man sounded very close. It took him an embarrassingly long time to realise that it was because he was using the man’s shoulder as a pillow, which also explained the shaking Justin had chalked up to the chills that accompanied the fever. He panicked for a moment and wondered if he should let them know he was awake, and move from the awkward position. But Mrs Jensen’s next words made him reconsider.

“What are we going to do, Matt?”

“Everything we can. The kid needs some serious help, and we can at least give him that.”

There was some movement, which Justin assumed meant that she sat down opposite them. He wondered why they were putting themselves in such positions when they could’ve easily woken him up and sent him to sleep on the couch or in Clay’s room.

“What if he doesn’t want our help?”

“Are you serious, Lainie? The kid told us he was using again, he just admitted it on his own, when he didn’t have to. He could’ve easily kept it hidden for at least a couple more weeks, but he chose to tell us. That must’ve been scary as hell for him.”

Justin had to struggle to keep his breathing even. His thoughts were so jumbled up that he couldn’t focus on any of them. It was way too early for this type of conversation.

“I know. He was so brave to do that. But it makes me wonder, why did he go back to it? He was out of Juvie, and we offered him a home, a permanent one, and he still chose to use again. Did we do something wrong? Why were we not enough?”

She sounded so hurt that Justin wanted to apologize and assure her that they were perfect, that they had nothing to do with it. It was everything _but_ them. What happened to Hannah and Jess because of him, Seth, his mother and, though he was loathe to admit it, Bryce. He hated him more than he hated anyone, ever, but he couldn’t erase the years of friendship in which Bryce had been his only lifeline, the only person who seemed to give a damn about him. Justin squeezed his eyes tightly, willing all thoughts of Bryce to go away.

“Justin?”

He opened his eyes and sat up slowly, his eyes first going to Mr Jensen, who smiled at him and then to Mrs Jensen, who looked concerned. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? Any pain?”

He shook his head tiredly. “I’m fine, it’s nothing.”

They exchanged a look and then turned their gazes on him. From the twin looks of disbelief, he knew they didn’t believe him. He hung his head. “Stomach cramps,” he mumbled.

“Let’s get you up and out of here, huh? I bet the floor’s not very comfortable,” Mrs Jensen said, holding her hand out to him. He took it, and was surprised when she managed to actually lift him up. He told her as much, and she laughed, leading him out of the bathroom. Mr Jensen was not far behind, and he must’ve heard, because he chuckled.

“I know, right?! When we were in college, she beat me and six other guys at an arm wrestling match, and before you ask, we did it because we were drunk, young and very stupid, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Justin looked at the woman in surprise. “Seriously? You beat them all?”

She smiled, and it was so wide that Justin couldn’t help but smile back. “Yeah. And let me tell you, they were all butthurt. But not my Matt. You know what he did after I beat him?”

“What?”

“He asked for my number _and_ asked me out on a date,” she said, and if Justin wasn’t mistaken, there was a hint of smugness in her smile. Just then, it hit Justin how much he actually wanted to be a part of this family. The warmth, the love, the teasing; he wanted it all with such desperation, that it nearly knocked the breath out of him.

They made their way up the stairs slowly, and Justin was surprised him when they passed Clay’s door. “I thought I was gonna sleep on Clay’s couch,” he told them with a confused frown.

They stopped in front of Mrs Jensen’s home office, and she and Mr Jensen faced him. “We were going to surprise you with this tomorrow after the finalization of the adoption, but I think you need this now.”

Justin’s frown deepened. “What are you-“

Mrs Jensen opened the door. “This is your room now, Justin.”

Justin stared at the two of them for a solid minute, still as a statue, and didn’t say a thing, mostly because he was incapable of opening his mouth without embarrassing himself by crying like a little kid. Mrs Jensen dragged him in, and pointed out stuff around the room, though Justin didn’t hear much of it. Against his will, his eyes started to water, and he cursed his inability to pull himself together.

“Justin?!”

Mr Jensen stood in front of him, and cupped his cheeks, his hands big and warm and so comforting. The touch brought more tears to his eyes and when the older man brought him into a fatherly hug, Justin couldn’t contain his sobs anymore. He buried his face in the crook of the other man’s neck and continued to cry, sobs wreaking his thin frame. He had no idea how long they stood like that, and by the time his breath evened out, Justin was so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Come on, hon, let’s get you to bed,” Mrs Jensen said as she led him over to the twin bed in the far corner. She pulled the comforter back and sat him down. Justin lay down and closed his eyes, but opened them again when he felt a hand brush his hair back. Mrs Jensen kissed his forehead and smiled gently. “Get some rest.”

He thought sleep might not come easy, but surprisingly, it did.

***************************************************

Two hours later, he woke up screaming, his chest heaving with every uneven breath. He sat up, and his stomach protested to the movement. He threw up, but what little came up was mostly bile, since he hadn’t eaten in a while. He tried to straighten up, but a stomach cramp left him almost paralyzed with pain. He curled up on his bed and waited desperately for it to pass.

“Justin, are you alright?” Mrs Jensen asked as she put a hand on his back, rubbing gently. It didn’t ease the pain, but it still made him feel better, somehow. Her hand moved from his back to his forehead, and she recoiled. “You’re burning up! Matt, come here, now!” The last part was said louder, clearly directed at Mr Jensen. Justin wasn’t sure what happened next, because everything seemed to fade slowly, and then there was only darkness.

* * *

Lainie Jensen didn’t scare easy, especially not because her kid -he may not be hers, officially, but it was only a matter of time before he was- was sick. But seeing Justin curled up like that, and seeing the vomit beside the bed, scared her a little bit. And when his eyes closed and he didn’t wake up no matter what she did, she was downright terrified. Less than a minute after she called for him, Matt showed up with a washcloth, clearly intended to clean up the mess beside the bed. She reached for it, and, seeing that it was wet and clean, started to run it across Justin’s forehead and down his cheek.

“Matt, he won’t wake up, do we need to take him to the hospital? What if something is really wrong?” She was aware that she was babbling, but she didn’t care right now.

Matt seemed to hesitate. “Let’s give it a few minutes, see if we can wake him up, and give him some Tylenol for the fever. If we can’t, we’ll take him. I grabbed the thermometer, check his temperature, Lainie.” She took it from his hand, and he kissed the crown of her head. “He’s going to be okay.”

She nodded, and hoped to god he was right. She placed the thermometer under his tongue with some difficulty, and waited until the beep sounded. “Honey, go tell Clay we’re going to the hospital.”

Matt frowned. “Why?”

“His temperature is 102.6.”

His eyes widened. “Okay, you get him ready, I’ll tell Clay and grab the keys, then I’ll come help you get him downstairs.”

She got up from the bad and went to the corner of the room, where Justin’s gym bag now lay. She grabbed a sweater and a t-shirt and went back to the bed. Lainie gently ran her hand through his hair. “Justin? Sweetheart, I need you to wake up for me, okay? Justin?” It took a couple more tries, but he finally opened his eyes. “Hi. We’re going to take you to the hospital, okay?”

His eyes were glassy, and he didn’t seem to understand what she said. “Mom?” He whispered quietly. Her heart stopped for a minute, but then she realized he wasn’t addressing _her._ She wondered what she should do, if she should go along with it and let him believe she was his mother, of if she should correct him. She settled for a smile  and a resumed combing a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, mom,” though his words were barely audible, the anguish in his voice and on his face was clear enough.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, honey.” He didn’t seem to hear her, and continued to mummer apologies. She sniffled quietly and leaned over him, an arm under his neck to push him into a sitting position. His face ended up laying against her chest, his hot forehead resting in the crook of her neck. He seemed to settle down once he was in her arms and she resisted the urge to hug him tightly. Instead, she struggled through getting one arm out of the sweat soaked t-shirt, then the other. Though there were a few times they almost fell off the bed, by the time Matt was back, Justin was wearing a clean shirt and a sweater.

Between the two of them, they got Justin to stand, but he wasn’t much help, so Matt carried him, one arm under his knees, the other under his shoulders. Clay was at the head of the stairs, waiting for them and he was wringing his hands anxiously. “Mom, is he going to be okay?”

“Yeah, he will be. Try to sleep, okay?”

He shook his head. “I’ll wait up.”

Matt was already downstairs, so she didn’t argue with Clay, simply smiled gently at him and hurried down the stairs after her husband.

*********************

When they got back home, it was 10 a.m. and Clay was at school. Justin was unusually quiet, and though it could be because he was exhausted and probably in pain, Lainie sensed it was something else.

“I’m sorry about this,” Justin said as soon as they entered the house. He was looking down at his shoes, his hands clasped tightly together. She and Matt exchanged a look full of heartbreak, and she sighed.

“Honey, there’s nothing to be sorry about, I promise.” He nodded without looking up at her, and didn’t seem convinced. There was nothing else she could do to convince him, so she just wrapped an arm around his shoulders and lead him up to his room. To her surprise, the bed was made up, and the floor was cleaned. She smiled; Clay may pretend he was mad at Justin, but deep down, he cared.

“Justin, look at me,” she said when he sat on the bed. He lifted his eyes up to meet hers. “You’ll get through this; _we’ll_ get through this, alright?”

He nodded. “Thank you, for everything, Mrs Jensen.”

“Lainie,” she corrected him with a raised eyebrow.

It got her a smile, albeit a small one. “Thank you,” he repeated.

“You don’t have to thank us, honey. You’re family now.”

He swallowed heavily, and his eyes seemed glassy, probably with unshed tears. She wondered when this kid would stop breaking her heart. She patted his knee and got up.

“I’m going to make us some breakfast, okay? I’ll call you down when it’s ready.”

“Okay.”

* * *

_*Three Days Later*_

“Justin, Wake up! Breakfast is ready,” Lainie’s voice woke him up, and he sat up in his bed. It was weird, to think of her as Lainie- and even weirder to call her that- instead of Mrs Jensen, but he was slowly getting used to it. In the past three days, she and Matt had taken care of him in a way no one ever had before. Clay seemed to mostly hover, though he still seemed angry at him. Justin vowed to talk to him after the worst of his withdrawal symptoms passed, which hopefully would be in a couple of days.

He got up, went to the bathroom and then entered the kitchen, where the three Jensens sat around the table. He sat on the fourth chair, opposite Clay, who seemed to ignore him. Justin inwardly rolled his eyes; apparently, Clay was still pissed at him.  

“Good morning,” Justin said quietly,

“Morning!” Lainie and Matt said a little too enthusiastically. Clay, on the other hand,  mumbled what might pass as a ‘good morning’ and continued eating his pancakes.

“Justin, we need to talk to you after breakfast, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered easily.

Clay pushed his chair back, loudly, and stood up. “You can talk now, I’m done,” He announced, then left the kitchen. Justin winced. So, maybe he needed to speed things up with Clay, because this, not talking to him, not even fighting with him, felt wrong.

“I’m sorry.” He’d apologised to them so much in the past few days that he hoped the words hadn’t lost their meaning. “I- I’m gonna talk to him, probably today.”

Lainie smiled. “That’d be great, sweetie. But we need to talk about something else.”

Justin nodded, and pushed down the fear that rose up at her words. They weren’t going to as him to leave, Justin knew that, but just the thought of it scared him.

“We signed you up in an outpatient treatment programme. It’s two days a week, for six months, maybe more.” She stated firmly, though her eyes and her smile were still kind. “It includes psychological therapy, too. There will be random urine tests, and we’ll need you to give us the money you have. No one will touch it, I promise, and we’ll buy you anything you need. But the money needs to be with us, because having it on you is a temptation we need to remove.”

Justin nodded seriously, and though he wanted to, he couldn’t meet their eyes. “Okay.”

Matt took over. “I talked to the school yesterday, and they agreed to let you finish this semester, but only if you keep up decent grades, attend all your classes and go to weekly meetings with your guidance councillor.

Justin nodded again. “Yeah, okay. I’ll do all that.”

Lainie smiled at him and took his hand in hers. “It won’t be easy, but I know you can do it, honey. We talked to the school’s guidance councillor, and she thinks if you work hard enough, you can get your grades up, maybe even higher than before.”

Justin smiled at her and Matt, and he squeezed her hand. “Thank you both for this. You have no idea how much this means to me.“ He took a deep breath and brushed away the lone tear that made its way down his cheek. “You’re the first people to give me a chance like this, you know that? Not even my own mother thought I was worth-“

Lainie got up from her chair before he could finish, and in less than four seconds, he was in her arms, her embrace warm and tight and everything a mother’s hug was supposed to be like. Her tears soaked his t-shirt, but he didn’t care. He just held her tighter and whispered, “Thank you” in her ear.

His eyes caught Matt’s over Lainie’s shoulder, and the older man smiled gently at him, his eyes glassy with unshed tears and impossibly kind. Justin mouthed a thank you to him, too and the man just shook his head, waving it off as if he had done nothing, when the reality was the exact opposite.

Lainie pulled away, but kept him close with both of her hands on his upper arms. “One more thing, once you feel up to it, we’re going to go to the courthouse, and we’re going to finalize this adoption. You ready to be a part of this family, officially?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I know I said this, like a million times, but I need to say it again; thank you both so much, for everything,” he said earnestly.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo.”

“I need to talk to Clay,” Justin told them nervously, gesturing behind him.  

“Go,” Lainie said with an encouraging smile.

**********************************************

Justin stared at Clay’s bedroom for a solid minute before he could get himself to knock. “Clay?”

“Go away, Justin!”

Justin rolled his eyes. “I’m coming in, Clay.”

“Like hell you are,” Clay said, and Justin heard a thud and then footsteps coming toward the door. Justin knew Clay intend to lock the door, so he opened the door before Clay could get to it. Unfortunately, Clay was closer to the door than Justin thought and he slammed into it, full force.

“Shit! Clay, you okay?”

“Fuck! What the hell, Justin?” Clay exclaimed as one of his hands came up to touch the bruised skin on his forehead.

Justin winced. “Sorry. But you were gonna lock me out of the room!”

Clay glared at him. “So this is my fault?” He asked, pointing to his forehead.

“Kinda.”Justin shrugged.

Clay huffed angrily and stomped his way to his bed.

“Clay, we gotta talk, man.”

“Why?” Clay asked, stubbornly.

“You know why, Clay.” The other boy said nothing, resolutely looking out the window.

“Look, man, I know I hurt- I know I said I wouldn’t use again, and I’m sorry I lied to you, but I just… I couldn’t not, you know? I had a lot of reasons not to, and you and your parents were one of them, but-“

“We weren’t enough,” Clay said quietly, and he seemed haunted.

Justin said nothing, merely started at his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. I don’t care,” Clay tried to sound tough, but Justin could hear the hurt in his words.

Justin grinned. “Yeah, you do.” “

Clay’s head swivelled in his direction, his eyes narrowed. “I don’t,” he snapped.

Justin held his hands up. “Your parents got me into a treatment programme, and I’m gonna go back to school in a couple of days. I promise you, Clay, I won’t let you down again."

Clay studied his face for a good minute, eyes narrowed and thoughtful. And even though the intensity of his stare made Justin uncomfortable, he held Clay’s gaze unflinchingly.

Clay finally took mercy on him, and though he seemed to try to stop it, a small smile appeared on his lips. “Good. But if you start using again, I swear I’ll kick your ass.”

Justin scoffed. “Like you can,” he said as he shoved Clay’s shoulder Playfully.

Clay retaliated by wrapping his arm around Justin’s neck in what he probably intended as a headlock. To Justin, it seemed more like an awkward one armed hug, and he allowed it, though he pretended to struggle in the hold to keep up appearances. 

* * *

It took two days for Justin to feel okay enough to go to the courthouse, and when he told the family at breakfast that he was, they erupted in excitement. Clay and Matt wore nearly identical smiles, though Matt’s was a bit softer. Lainie, on the other hand, was already on the phone, a large smile stretched across her face.

“We’re going to the courthouse in two hours!” She announced after she hung up, her hands clasped together tightly. It confused him a little, that they seemed to actually want him, that they were actually happy about having him in their house, but he was done questioning it, and he decided to let himself enjoy the feeling of actually being _wanted_.

They got to the courthouse with half an hour to spare, and Lainie pulled him aside, waving Matt and Clay off when they stop beside them. “You guys go ahead, I need to talk to Justin alone,” Mrs Jensen said with a smile directed at her husband and son. Justin nervously fiddled with the sleeves of his new sweater, watching the woman’s face in hopes of figuring out what the conversation was going to be about.

“Justin, I need to ask you something,” she started, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, looking nervous.

“Yeah, sure.”

She took a deep breath. “Matt and I were talking last night, and I realised we didn’t ask you about your name. Your last name, I mean.”

Justin frowned. “What about it?”

“Do you want to change it? To Jensen?

He was stunned. He hadn’t even thought that was an option, and her offering felt like a roundabout way of telling him that they were all in, that the adoption wasn’t just a temporary fix until he turned eighteen. The thought brought tears to his eyes, and he tried to force them down.

She must’ve misinterpreted his silence, because her face fell a little. “You don’t have to, we just wanted to give you the option. Fresh start and all that.”

“I want to,” He blurted out, and ducked his head when her eyes caught his, his face burned with embarrassment and it probably looked as red as a tomato.

“Good,” she said softly, and the next thing he knew, her arms were around him. He hugged her back, her warmth comforting. His eyes burned with tears, and he ducked his head into the crook of her neck. “Are you ready, Justin?”

Was he? Having a family had always been something he longed for, but never had. His mom had never been the warm type. She loved him, he knew that, but never enough to stop any of her boyfriends from hurting him, never enough for her to quit using and drinking. Thinking of his mother now made him tense, and Mrs Jensen immediately pulled away. “Justin?”

 “Does this make me a bad son?”

She immediately shook her head. “Honey, no. You’re- You’ve been through so much, and you deserve stability and love.” She led him to a wooden bench, and sat him down. “I’m not saying your mom doesn’t love you, I know she does. But, she had a responsibility to do better by you. This, you choosing to be a part of our family, doesn’t mean that you love her any less. Okay? ”

He nodded slowly, her words erasing some of the guilt he was feeling. “Okay. Do you think maybe you could help me find her? Not right away, I mean, but maybe in, like, a couple of weeks?”

“Of course,” she assured him. “Now, let’s go make you a Jensen,” she told him with an excited smile.

He grinned back, feeling light and carefree in a way he hadn’t in a long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have:  
> a. Fluff  
> b. characters that aren't the Jensens  
> c. some angst
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.


	3. Sinking faster than we could swim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Again, thank you for the Kudos and Comments, they mean absolutely everything to me <3   
> This chapter...I know i promised Fluff, and there's a bit of it, but I'm starting to believe that I'm incapable of not hurting my favorite Character? Sorry!   
> Anyways, carry on and happy reading! 
> 
> Chapter title is from Roses On a Breeze by Bear's Den ( One of my favorites!)

Two hours after Justin became an official Jensen, Clay barged into his room.

“Dude, knock!” He exclaimed, sitting up from his reclined position on the bed. “What if I had bee-“

Clay shook his head, eyes wide. “I don’t want to hear about that. Ever.”

Justin just rolled his eyes. “Head out of the gutter, Jensen. I was gonna say, what if I had been  _ changing _ .”

Clay raised an eyebrow, and when Justin just grinned, he rolled his eyes. “Get up and change. We’re going out,  _ Jensen. _ ”

Justin spluttered, and watched, speechless, as Clay left as quickly as he came.

* * *

 

Apparently, when Clay said they were going out, he meant they were going to Monet’s. Justin stopped short of the door and looked to the side. Clay seemed jittery with either excitement or nervousness, and when Justin gave him a look, he seemed to deflate. “What?”

“Monet’s? Really, Clay?”

Clay seemed to take offence to that. “What’s wrong with Monet’s?!”

Justin shrugged. “I don’t know, man. It’s just not my scene.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it wasn’t exactly a lie either. The truth was, he didn’t want to go in because Jessica, or Alex, or both of them, might be there. Things with Jessica might be on the right track, but with Alex, it was another story altogether. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Alex since the night of the dance, and he wasn’t sure what his reaction to his girlfriend cheating on him with Justin would be. Justin was sure it was going to be bad, and he honestly wasn’t ready to be publicly humiliated,  _ again _ . 

Clay seemed confused, and it hit Justin that he didn’t  _ know _ . Justin wanted to keep it that way, though he wasn’t sure that was possible now that they were essentially brothers and Clay was nosy as hell. “That was before, though. Come on, let’s just go in for a little while. If you get bored, we’ll leave.”

Justin nodded, and reluctantly entered Clay. The other boy lead him to a table where, to his surprise, Tony and Sheri were sitting. 

“Hey, guys,” Clay greeted them cheerfully, sitting down in the chair between theirs. 

“Hey, you two!” Sheri smiled widely at them both. It was hard not to smile back at her, so Justin did. Tony, on the other hand, just nodded at him. 

“Hi.” Justin said quietly, throwing a suspicious look at Clay, who seemed to avoid looking at him. Yup, this was planned. He didn’t know whether to be happy that this was Clay's way of celebrating of Justin's adoption, or mad at him because this was going to be awkward as hell since they probably had nothing to talk about. Justin settled for both. 

The conversation was, as Justin predicted, stilted and awkward at best, and Justin knew it was probably because of him. He was nervous as hell, and when he was nervous, Justin tended to calm up.He wanted to make up something and leave, but he didn't know what. Just as he was about to get up, though, someone cheerfully called his name. He turned, and found Zach and Jess making their way to the table, wide smiles on both their faces. 

When they got to the table, he was pulled into a sweeping hug courtesy of Zach. Justin found himself a few inches above the ground, again, and he laughed lowly. “Zach, you’ve gotta put me down, man.”

Zach released him and beamed. “Clay told us, man. Congratulations!”

Justin smiled shyly. “Thanks.”

And then it felt like a spell had been broken. Sheri got up and took Zach’s place, hugging Justin, though she was a lot gentler. “I’m so happy for you, Justin.  We didn't say anything 'cause Clay told us to keep it low-key, did didn’t he, Zach?” The last part was directed at Zach, who shrugged with a carefree grin. 

Justin grinned. “Thanks, Sheri.”

Jessica was next, and she smiled softly. “It’s official, huh?” 

“Yeah,” his voice was breathy, so he cleared his throat. She looked at him with soft, brown eyes. She didn’t hug him like the others, but she did take his hand in hers and squeeze it tightly. There was a genuine smile on her face, and there seemed to be no hard feelings on her part, which was a relief. “Let’s sit.”

They brought extra chairs and moved another table closer so that they could all sit together. Justin ended up sitting between Zach and Jess, which was another sign things were good, or at least getting there, between them. The conversation flowed easily between them, and they seemed to avoid any serious topics. They stuck to movies and tv shows, and occasionally two or more would enter into a heated discussion about which movie was better, but other than that, it was just  _ light _ . A thought occurred to him and he turned to Jessica.

“Hey, Jess,” he said, leaning closer to her, so she could hear him better. “Is Alex not coming?” 

She tensed, he could see it on her face and in her shoulders. “I don’t know, but my guess is he won't.”

Justin’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. “You told him, then?”

“Yeah, about a week ago. Should I not have?” Her words were defensive, and Justin raised his hands in surrender. 

“I didn’t say that, Jess.” He leaned back in his seat, and noticed everyone else looking at them. He dropped his gaze to the table top, and wished they would just  _ stop looking. _

“Hey, Justin, let’s go get everyone drinks,” Zach piped up from beside him.

Justin smiled at him, grateful for the chance to get away for a little while. 

Once they were out of earshot, Zach broke the silence between them. “I heard what you and Jess were talking about. And Alex told me what happened.”

Justin froze, and watched as Zach ordered for everyone with an ease that must have come from familiarity. Once Zach was finished, he turned back to Justin. “I think you should just give him some time. You guys really hurt him.”

Justin hung his head in shame. “I know. It’s no excuse, but I wasn’t thinking, Zach. Bryce was there, and I just-“ he broke off and looked at his friend, who seemed to listen to him without judgement. He wondered what he would think, if he knew Justin had let Bryce’s words get to him, that he’d longed for their friendship, even if it was for a few seconds. 

“He got under your skin,” Zach finished for him. 

Justin nodded and looked to the side, avoiding Zach’s knowing eyes. “For a second, I wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, and when that second was over? I hated myself so much, Zach. I wanted to fucking disappear. And Jess… Jess brought me back, at least for a little while.”

Zach clasped his shoulder tightly, giving him a gentle shake. “I get it, man. Bryce is a piece of work. What you did wasn’t right, not by any means, but I get that it was in the heat of the moment. And I think Alex does, too.”

Justin searched the other boy’s eyes for a lie, and when he didn’t find one, he smiled widely. “You think so?”

Zach nodded. “Yeah, just give him some time. Why are you so worked up about Alex, though? You guys were never really friends, right?”

Justin wasn’t sure how to answer the boy, and he was thankfully saved from it by the barista calling out Zach’s name. 

He helped the other boy carry everyone’s drinks, but before he could move from the counter, Zach spike quietly. 

“You didn’t answer me, Justin.”

He sighed. “There’s really not much to it, alright? He save me, and he took me in when everyone, even you, turned their backs on me. He may hate me right now but I owe him a lot.”

Zach gave him a look he couldn’t understand. “And that’s it?” He asked it like he knew something Justin didn’t, and it annoyed the shit out of Justin.

“Yeah, that’s it.” He moved from the counter and without a backward glance, he started walking back t the table. 

“Hey, Baby Jensen, Wait up!”

He was going to kill Zach.

* * *

 

“Boys, we’re leaving!”

Justin looked up from his phone and waved lazily in Lainie and Matt’s direction, while Clay yelled his goodbye from the kitchen. 

“If you want to invite your friends over, you could, but absolutely  _ no drinking _ and no parties, okay?”

Justin nodded. “Got it. Have fun,” he said with a smile.

Lainie and Matt both smiled back.

“You too, kiddo. If you two need anything, call, alright?”

“Sure,” Justin agreed easily. Clay had warned him about ‘the talk’ he suffered through before every date night for his parents, and Justin suspected he was hiding in the kitchen until they left, leaving him alone to sit through it. Justin didn’t mind though. He actually kind of liked it, even. It meant they cared.

It took another couple of minutes before they left, and the minute they did, Clay came in, phone in his hand. “You want to watch a movie?” He asked without looking up from his phone.

“Yeah, sure. What are we watching? Clay? Hey, Clay, are you ignoring me?”

Clay looked up from his phone. “Huh?”

“Who are you texting?”

Clay quickly locked his phone and put it in his pocket. “Nobody,” he said quickly. 

Justin tilted his head to the side and watched Clay squirm for a few seconds. “You’re blushing.”

Clay glared, his cheeks tinged red. “Am not.”

Justin laughed. “You so are. Oh my god, who is it? Is it Skye? I thought you broke up with her!”

“It’s not Skye!” Clay snapped. “Just leave it alone, Justin.”

It seemed that Clay was about to become really upset, not just embarrassed, so Justin let it go. “So, what movie are we watching?”

“What?”

“You said we could watch a movie. What did you have in mind?”

Clay shrugged. “Maybe we should just see what’s on Netflix?”

“Sure, whatever.”

Clay’s phone pinged, and he unlocked it and read the text he’d gotten with a small smile. Oh, it was definitely a girl. He grabbed his laptop, then sat beside Justin and opened Netflix. After a few minutes, he turned to Justin. “Mind if we invite people over for a movie night?”

Justin’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “You want to invite people over?”

Clay rolled his eyes, and Justin was tempted to stick out his tongue at the other boy. “Is whoever you’re texting coming?”

Clay’s eyes widened, but he seemed to recover quickly, though he wasn’t quick enough. “No!” The word came out in a weird whisper-shout. 

Justin snickered. “That was convincing, Clay.”

A throw-pillow hit him square in the face, but he continued laughing. 

“Shut up, Justin!” Clay exclaimed, holding another pillow over his head. 

“Okay! Okay, dude, I’ll shut up,” Justin said, holding both his hands up. 

“Yeah, right,” Clay scoffed, sitting back down with a huff.

“Who do you want to invite?” 

Clay answered immediately. “Sheri, Tony, Jess, Alex and Zach.” 

Justin nodded. “Sounds cool. You should tell them now, though, before it gets too late.”

“Yeah. I’ll text them all right now.”

Less than a minute later, Clay got what sounded like more than thirty successive texts. 

“Sheri’s coming. Jess, Alex and Zach, too, but Tony might not.” Clay informed him, and Justin was surprised that Alex was coming. Justin had called and texted him so much in the past couple of days and got no answer. A ‘fuck off’ would’ve been nicer than the nothing Justin was receiving. Not that he blamed Alex; Justin knew what he did was pretty messed up. He just wanted  _ something _ , anything other than silence. 

“Do you wanna go grab some snacks?” Clay asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

Justin shrugged. “Sure. Do you know what everyone wants?” 

“I’ll ask, and if they don’t answer, we’ll just grab a bunch of stuff.”

He and Clay were out of the house in under five minutes, and the drive to the store was short. They went in together, and immediately got to work; Clay rattling off everyone’s preferences, and Justin pulling them off the shelf and into his arms, Occasionally pulling a face at some of the things they’d requested.

“Candy corn? Pickles? Clay, someone asked for  _ Pickles _ ?” he asked in disbelief. 

“They’re delicious,” Clay protested. 

“Clay, you  _ hate _ pickles.” Justin struggled with carrying the pile, regretting his decision to be lazy and not get a basket. Clay didn’t argue, and Justin took it as a win, though he did seem a bit pale.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked as he deposited the snacks- and a small jar of pickles- on the counter.

“I just said  _ pickles _ were  _ delicious _ , Justin. I hate pickles.”

"Yeah, we've established that." Justin smirked at Clay, who was too busy paying for everything to notice. “So, who wants the pickles?”

Clay just glared at him. “Just get in the car.”

Justin laughed at the other boy all the way home.

* * *

 

Justin had been worried things would be as awkward as they were the other day at Monet’s, especially with Alex there, but things were going surprisingly well. Alex was mostly ignoring him, Zach was alternating between talking to him and Alex, Jess seemed to gravitate towards Sheri, who in turn stuck close to Clay. It was a bit odd, their arrangement, but it worked and no one was ever left out or alone. 

“Hey, Clay, when are your parents coming home?” Zach asked.

“Probably tomorrow,” Clay answered casually, and Justin was surprised.

“They said they’d be back late tonight, though,” he told him with a frown.

Clay snorted. “They always say that. But they always end up renting a room in a motel or an inn.”

“Ah, got it.”

“So, are we pulling an all-nighter, then?” Zach asked, looking excited.

Justin looked at Clay, who was already looking at him. The other boy raised an eyebrow in question, and Justin just shrugged. Clay turned to the group.

“Sure, if you guys want to."

“I’m fine with it,” Sheri said with a wide grin, her eyes on Clay, whose neck was turning a brighter shade of red by the second. Justin grinned, watching them. Now he knew who Clay was texting. 

Zach nodded. “Me too. How about you two?” He asked Jessica and Alex. 

“I’m gonna have to tell my parents first,” Jessica answered, already reaching for her phone.  

“Me too,” Alex said, struggling to his feet. Justin resisted the urge to help him, knowing Alex would hate it if he did. Zach didn’t seem to have the same concern, because he got up and got Alex’s phone before he was even halfway up. Alex, to Justin’s surprise, accepted the phone easily and called his dad. Justin wondered when the two became so close the Alex accepted help without batting an eyelash. 

After both Jess and Alex confirmed they were staying, the movie debate started. It was harmless at first, but then the Star Wars Vs. Star Trek debate started and it was like a war zone. Justin mostly stayed out of it, because he hadn’t watched either- except for the Star Trek reboot, which, according to Sheri didn’t count. He watched them bicker impatiently and was more than a little annoyed. At this rate, they weren't going to watch _anything_ at all. The doorbell rang, and Justin got up to answer.

He was surprised to see Tony on the other side. “Hey, Tony! I thought you weren’t coming.”

“Changed my mind. What’s the noise about?” He asked as he made his way inside, Justin trailing after him. 

“Hey, Tony! Come back me up,” Clay exclaimed before Justin could answer Tony.

“About what?”

“Star Trek or Star Wars?”

“Star Wars, obviously.” Tony scoffed. Clay smiled widely and pointed at Tony as if to say ‘hah, see?’ and Justin watched in horror as Tony, too, was roped into the argument.

He gave them a minute before he interfered. “We’re watching neither,” he declared loudly, glaring at them all. 

“I’m with Justin on this one,” Zach said, looking amused.

“Fine,” Clay huffed, looking betrayed. Justin wondered if it was because he hadn’t sided with him, or if it was because Sheri apparently liked Star Trek. 

“So, then what do we watch?”

“Oooh, how about Conjuring?” Sheri suggested, excited.

“Are you out of your mind?” Jess exclaimed, looking at the other girl like she’d grown two heads. Zach looked a bit uncomfortable, Clay looked like was in love and Tony looked as clueless as Justin felt. Alex didn’t seem to care much, and Justin wondered why he wasn’t giving an opinion about anything. 

“What’s Conjuring?” Justin asked Clay.

“Only the best Horror movie ever,” Clay informed him. Now, it was Sheri’s turn to look in love. 

Tony looked interested now, and Justin dreaded it, because it seemed like that was the movie they were going to watch. Justin hated horror movies with a passion, and he never understood People’s love for watching movies that scared the living shit out of them.

He swallowed his protest back, and told himself to man up. He refused to embarrass himself in front of all of his friends. By the look on Zach’s face, he was telling himself the same thing. They shared a desperate look and then in an unspoken agreement sat down next to each other on the floor when everyone settled for the movie. Clay distributed the snacks, and Justin noticed when he gave Sheri the jar of pickles.  

Alex, Sheri and Jess squeezed themselves onto the couch, while Zach, Justin, Clay and Tony sat down in front of them. Justin ended up sitting directly in front of Alex, sandwiched between Zach and Clay. Clay hit play, and Justin tried to concentrate on the movie, resisting the urge to close his eyes, because if someone saw, he would never live it down. The first few minutes weren’t all that bad, and Justin began to relax; maybe the movie wasn’t so bad. He changed his mind quickly when the kid ran past the lady Justin couldn’t remember the name of. He shuddered at the sound of the kid’s creepy laughter and felt Zach tense beside him. When the nun appeared in the mirror, Justin regretted agreeing to this, and then jumped out of his skin when she started choking the lady. 

“Jesus,” Zach whispered in horror. Justin turned to him and nodded. “This is the  _ beginning. _ I should’ve made an excuse and got the hell out of here,” Zach told him in a low whisper.

“Me, too,” Justin agreed. 

“You live here, baby Jensen,” Zach teased him, and though he was glad for the distraction, Justin still glared at him.

“I told you not to call me that!”

“Shhhhh,” Sheri said, slapping them both on the back of their heads. “Watch the movie,” she scolded. 

Zach and Justin exchanged a look of resignation and turned back to the movie, both rubbing their heads.

Halfway through the movie, Justin felt a poke on his back and flinched forward. 

“I want to get some water,” Alex whispered. “Move.”

“I’ll get it!” He jumped at the chance to get away from the movie. 

Alex looked annoyed. “I can get my own water, Justin.”

“Oh, I know.” He did move for the other boy,though, disappointed that he shot him down so quickly. 

Alex was gone for maybe thirty seconds when the guy appeared behind the little girl and screamed “My HOUSE!” 

“Fuck,” Zach shouted, his hand coming up to clutch at Justin’s arm. Justin shot up, nearly falling over when Zach wouldn’t let go. When he did, Justin straightened up and left the room under the pretense of helping Alex.

He went into the kitchen, and found the boy slowly sipping water from a tall glass, looking miles away.

“You okay, Alex?”

**********************

It had taken a lot of convincing for Alex to agree to come to the Jensen’s house, mainly because he knew Justin and Jess would both be there. What Jess and Justin did  _ sucked _ , and when she’d told him about it a week ago, he’d been so angry at them that it scared him a little. The anger didn’t linger very long, though, especially after- reluctantly- talking about it with Zach, who had unknowingly helped him realise that he and Jess, no matter how much they cared about each other, weren’t right, or good, for each other. Once that realisation hit, letting go of the anger, and Jess, had come easier than he expected.  He and Jess were by no means close to going back to where they were before, but they were headed in that direction.

Justin, on the other hand, was a different matter altogether. Forgiving him came a lot easier to Alex than he expected, especially when he hadn’t even apologized or talked to Alex about it- He'd sent texts, and called a few times, both of which Alex had avoided. He'd obsessed over the reason for that for a while, and what he came up with wasn’t something Alex wanted to linger on, so he’d done his best to avoid the jock, and thought about it some more. He and Justin weren’t exactly friends, especially after what happened with Hannah and the tapes and yet, when he thought about it, Alex realized that he’d never been able to say no to the other boy, or turn him away when he needed him, or stay mad at him. He suspected it was the puppy dog eyes, or maybe, as Hannah had said, that damn smile of his. And Alex, truth be told, didn’t like it.

Alex shook his head, trying to dispel the thought, because he was headed into some pretty dangerous territory. He re-filled his glass of water and sipped slowly, stalling a little. 

He was surprisingly having fun tonight with his friends, and up until they settled in for the movie, things had been great. But when the movie started, that had changed. Alex, try as he might, hadn’t been able to properly watch the movie because Justin sitting in front of him was  _ distracting _ . He hated it, and not for the reason he should’ve. He hated it because he could feel the solid muscles of the other boy’s back against his legs whenever he shifted, and he could smell his shampoo, something fruity, to Alex’s surprise, whenever he moved quickly. Alex also hated it because he could clearly see that Justin was scared shitless of the movie, and he found it  _ adorable _ . His attraction to boys wasn’t new by any means, though he hadn’t exactly been open about it either, but it was an inconvenience when the boy he was attracted it to happened to be the one his sort-of-girlfriend cheated on him with. 

“You okay, Alex?”

He nearly dropped the glass in his hand, and once he was sure it was secure in his grip, he turned to the other boy with a glare. “Jesus, Justin, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” he exclaimed, looking genuine. 

“I told you I could get my own water,” he said as he waived the glass in his hand. 

“I know,” Justin answered casually, and it didn’t seem like a lie. 

"Then, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing!" 

Alex raised an eyebrow at the other boy, who seemed to deflate under his stare.

“That movie is fucking creepy, man!”

Alex, despite his effort not to, chuckled. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” the other boy whined, throwing his hands up. Alex smiled, and Justin smiled back. Alex hadn’t seen this smile, wide and bright, in quite a while. The smile didn't last long, though, and was replaced by a frown.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Justin said, looking at his hands. “What I did, what  _ we  _ did, to you-”

“Justin-”

Justin shook his head. “Please let me get this out.”

Alex nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry that it happened. I was messed up that night, I wasn’t thinking straight, and neither was Jess. It’s no excuse, I know that, but I- I’m sorry that it hurt you, you didn’t deserve that.”

Alex took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot, Justin.”

Justin shook his head and moved closer to Alex. He leaned his hip on the counter and stared at Alex. “Why are you  _ thanking  _ me? And why aren’t you mad at me?”

_ Because I think I like you _ , Alex thought shakily. “I don’t know,” he said out loud. They stood like that for a few seconds, silent. 

“I’m glad you’re okay, Alex,” Justin told him quietly. “And I’m sorry I didn’t see it.” It wasn’t hard to figure out what Justin was talking about.

“No one did,” he told the other boy, not meeting his eyes. 

“I should’ve.”

“Why? We weren’t exactly friends, Justin.”

Justin seemed a little hurt by that. “Weren’t we?  _ Aren’t  _ we friends, Alex?”

“I guess, yeah.” Alex, feeling off-balance, decided to end the conversation. “Let’s go back to the movie, huh?” 

He hadn’t even taken two steps when he felt a hand on his shoulder. When he turned, a little awkwardly because of his cane, he found Justin a lot closer than he thought he would be. 

“Are we good?” Justin asked, genuinely concerned.

Alex smiled softly. “We’re getting there, I think."

He was probably imagining it, but he saw Justin’s eyes drift to his lips, and before he could double check, Zach came bounding in. “What the hell is taking you two so long? You’re missing the movie!”

Justin chuckled, though it seemed a bit forced. “That’s the point, Zach.” 

Justin lead the way out of the kitchen, and Zach fell into step with Alex. “What did I just walk in on?”

“Nothing,” Alex told him, trying to project an air of nonchalance.

“Aha, yeah, that’s convincing.”

He glared at him. “Drop it, okay?” Alex snapped.

Zach just held his hands up in surrender. Alex didn’t miss the grin on his face, but he chose to ignore it. 

* * *

Just as they were about to decide on the second movie, the doorbell rang, and Alex watched as Clay and Justin exchanged a confused look before Justin got up to answer. 

He heard voices, but couldn’t understand what was being said. It was probably just a neighbor, anyway. But then, there was a thud and a heart-stopping scream that was unmistakably Justin’s.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffy!
> 
> what did you think of the Justlex in this chapter? Was it rushed? unrealistic? rushed? and I need you guys to be honest with me about it because i think I suck at writing romance???
> 
> Also? Justin and Zach during the movie? Totally me. I watched a few clips of The Conjuring 2, and I had stop like every five minutes. I hate Horror movies. I really hope you enjoyed. Please, please, pretty please tell me what you thought of this chapter in the comments?
> 
> And how about Clay and Sheri? Does anybody ship it? 
> 
> As always, I tried to edit it as much as I could, but if I missed anything, let me know. (Does anybody actually read the ANs?)  
> Love you!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you Enjoyed! the next chapter will (Hopefully) be up in about a week.


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